School Jokes

[H₂O]
Teacher: Spell "WATER."
Student: H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O.
Teacher: That doesn't spell "WATER."
Student: Yes, it does it's all the letters from "H to O".

Teacher: Johnny, give me a sentence using the word 'I'.
Johnny: I is...
Teacher: No Johnny, you always say 'I am'.
Johnny: Oh, alright. I am the 9th letter of the alphabet.

[Use a Word Ten Times] Stressing the importance of a good vocabulary, the teacher told her young charges, "Use a word ten times, and it shall be yours for life."

From somewhere in the back of the room, came a small male voice said, "Alice, Alice, Alice, Alice, Alice, Alice, Alice, Alice, Alice, Alice."

Teacher: Can you tell me anything about the great scientists of the 18th century?
Student: Yes sir, I can. They are all dead.

Teacher: Where were you born?
Student: Singapore, Sir.
Teacher: Which part?
Student: All of me.

Substitute Teacher: Are you chewing gum?
Billy: No, I'm Billy Anderson.

Teacher: Didn't you promise to behave?
Student: Yes sir.
Teacher: And didn't I promise to punish you when you misbehave?
Student: Yes sir. But since I didn't keep my promise, you don't need to keep yours.

A new teacher is trying to make use of her Psychology courses. She starts her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up."
After a few seconds, little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Johnny?"
"No, ma'am," he says, "but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself."

Teacher: Why were you late for school this morning?
Boy: Well, I obeyed the sign just down the road that says 'School ahead — go slow'.

A little girl came home from school and said to her mother, "Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do."

The mother exclaimed, "But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this ... by the way, what was it that you didn't do?"

The little girl replied, "My homework."

Dear Dad,
$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need. $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love, Your $on

Dear Son,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love, Dad